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Memory Alpha
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== Summary ==
 
== Summary ==
 
=== Teaser ===
 
=== Teaser ===
A crowd has gathered at [[Quark's]]. [[Rom]] tells the assembled crowd that [[Nog]] will soon be heading off to [[Starfleet Academy]], and, as is [[Ferengi]] tradition, is selling off his childhood possession to raise capital. Rom encourages everyone to show their support, and kicks off the auction by volunteering to buy Nog's pajamas - which Nog says will cost him three strips of [[gold-pressed latinum]]. Rom, in typical Ferengi fashion, haggles his way down to two. Nog accepts, and encourages the crowd to buy their own keepsakes.
+
A crowd has gathered at [[Quark's]]. [[Rom]] tells the assembled crowd that [[Nog]] will soon be heading off to [[Starfleet Academy]], and, as is [[Ferengi]] tradition, is selling off his childhood possessions to raise capital. Rom encourages everyone to show their support, and kicks off the auction by volunteering to buy Nog's pajamas - which Nog says will cost him three strips of [[gold-pressed latinum]]. Rom, in typical Ferengi fashion, haggles his way down to two. Nog accepts, and encourages the crowd to buy their own keepsakes.
   
[[Worf]] stands off to one side, and is approached by [[Miles O'Brien|O'Brien]], who is surprised to see him there. Worf explains it was a personal request of [[Benjamin Sisko|Sisko]]'s, and says he seems to have taken some interest in the boy. The chief tells him that Sisko sponsored Nog's application to the Academy, and Worf says it just doesn't seem right: a Ferengi at the Academy. The chief comments that not so long ago, someone would have said that about a [[Klingon]] at the Academy. Sisko comes up behind them and tells them to buy something before it is all gone. Despite his annoyance, Worf is quickly impressed with Nog's [[tooth sharpener]] after trying it and buys it to Nog's surprise.
+
[[Worf]] stands off to one side, and is approached by [[Miles O'Brien|O'Brien]], who is surprised to see him there. Worf explains it was a personal request of [[Benjamin Sisko|Sisko]]'s, and says he seems to have taken some interest in the boy. The chief tells him that Sisko [[Heart of Stone (episode)|sponsored]] Nog's application to the Academy, and Worf says it just doesn't seem right: a Ferengi at the Academy. The chief comments that not so long ago, someone would have said the same about a [[Klingon]] at the Academy. Sisko comes up behind them and tells them to buy something before it is all gone. Despite his annoyance, Worf is quickly impressed with Nog's [[tooth sharpener]] after trying it and buys it to Nog's surprise.
   
[[Quark]] walks into the bar and, looking irritated, walks over to Rom. Rom is surprised to see Quark, and tells him that if he hurries, there may still be some choice items left to buy. Quark tells him he's not there for the sale; Nog has no place going off to the Academy, and Quark won't have any part of it. Quark tells Rom to come with him; the sale is over, as far as Rom is concerned. The brothers' cousin [[Gaila (Ferengi)|Gaila]] has finally made good on a 10-year old promise and bought Quark a ship. Knowing Gaila, it is probably defective, so he wants Rom to check it out.
+
[[Quark]] walks into the bar and, looking irritated, walks over to Rom. Rom is surprised to see Quark, and tells him that if he hurries, there may still be some choice items left to buy. Quark tells him he's not there for the sale; Nog has no place going off to the Academy, and Quark won't have any part of it. Quark tells Rom to come with him; the sale is over, as far as Rom is concerned. The brothers' cousin [[Gaila (Ferengi)|Gaila]] has finally made good on a [[2362|10-year old]] promise and bought Quark a ship. Knowing Gaila, it is probably defective, so he wants Rom to check it out.
   
 
Upon inspection, Rom finds the ship is in perfect shape, but Quark feels they need to take it on a shakedown cruise. Rom suggests Earth, and Quark says it is a wonderful idea. Rom runs off to tell Nog, and Quark says to himself that it will be a profitable trip.
 
Upon inspection, Rom finds the ship is in perfect shape, but Quark feels they need to take it on a shakedown cruise. Rom suggests Earth, and Quark says it is a wonderful idea. Rom runs off to tell Nog, and Quark says to himself that it will be a profitable trip.
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[[Operations center|Ops]] - [[Jadzia Dax|Dax]] tells Sisko and [[Kira Nerys|Kira]] that the Ferengi shuttle ''[[Quark's Treasure]]'' has just departed. Kira says she wouldn't want to be stuck on that shuttle with the three of them all the way to Earth; Sisko says he's just worried that no one warned Earth they were coming.
 
[[Operations center|Ops]] - [[Jadzia Dax|Dax]] tells Sisko and [[Kira Nerys|Kira]] that the Ferengi shuttle ''[[Quark's Treasure]]'' has just departed. Kira says she wouldn't want to be stuck on that shuttle with the three of them all the way to Earth; Sisko says he's just worried that no one warned Earth they were coming.
   
On the shuttle - Quark complains that the trip is taking too long, and Rom says not to worry; he knows that [[kemocite]] is unstable, but another day or two won't make any difference. Quark tells Rom he doesn't know what he's talking about; Rom tells him he knows about the shipment of kemocite Quark is smuggling; and how dangerous and profitable it is, especially if they make a side trip to [[Orion (planet)|Orion]] on the way back from Earth. Quark asks when he got so smart; Rom tells him he's always been smart, he just lacked self-confidence. Rom tells Quark he could be convinced to forget what he knows... for 20% of the profits. Quark rolls his eyes, and asks Nog if he wants a cut, too. Nog says that as a Starfleet cadet, he's sworn to report any violation of [[Federation]] law to his superiors; but he hasn't been sworn in yet. For 10%, he'll keep quiet. Quark agrees, and tells Rom to push the shuttle faster. As they approach Earth, Nog comes in from the crew quarters, and asks if the picture of [[Gabriel Bell]] looks a lot like Sisko. Quark tells Rom to take the ship out of warp, and Rom says it is not responding; the command sequencer has been disabled. It turns out Gaila sabotaged the ship, and Rom can't shut it down. Rom says that if he can flood the cargo hold with plasma, its reaction with the kemocite should allow him to shut down the warp core. Quark says he's a genius. Rom asks if he really thinks so, and Quark replies he has no idea... he didn't understand a word he just said, but to do it anyway. Rom says he thinks he can get close enough to Earth to make an emergency landing. The ship streaks through space at high warp... and disappears.
+
On the shuttle - Quark complains that the trip is taking too long, and Rom says not to worry; he knows that [[kemocite]] is unstable, but another day or two won't make any difference. Quark tells Rom he doesn't know what he's talking about; Rom tells him he knows about the shipment of kemocite Quark is smuggling; and how dangerous and profitable it is, especially if they make a side trip to [[Orion (planet)|Orion]] on the way back from Earth. Quark asks when he got so smart; Rom tells him he's always been smart, he just lacked self-confidence. Rom tells Quark he could be convinced to forget what he knows... for 20% of the profits. Quark rolls his eyes, and asks Nog if he wants a cut, too. Nog says that as a Starfleet cadet, he's sworn to report any violation of [[Federation law]] to his superiors; but he hasn't been sworn in yet. For 10%, he'll keep quiet. Quark agrees, and tells Rom to push the shuttle faster. As they approach Earth, Nog comes in from the crew quarters, and asks if the picture of [[Gabriel Bell]] looks a lot like Sisko. Quark tells Rom to take the ship out of warp, and Rom says it is not responding; the command sequencer has been disabled. It turns out Gaila sabotaged the ship, and Rom can't shut it down. Rom says that if he can flood the cargo hold with plasma, its reaction with the kemocite should allow him to shut down the warp core. Quark says he's a genius. Rom asks if he really thinks so, and Quark replies he has no idea... he didn't understand a word he just said, but to do it anyway. Rom says he thinks he can get close enough to Earth to make an emergency landing. The ship streaks through space at high warp... and disappears.
   
Quark wakes up and sits bolt upright, covered by a white sheet. He looks around, and sees Rom and Nog lying next to him in what appears to be a dark laboratory. They both appear to be dead. Outside the lab, a human male picks up an old-fashioned phone and tells the party on the other end to contact [[General]] [[Rex Denning|Denning]]... one of the "[[Martian]]s" is awake. The camera pans over to a calendar hanging on the wall... it is an old Betty Page style pin-up calendar, set on [[July]], [[1947]].
+
Quark wakes up and sits bolt upright, covered by a white sheet. He looks around, and sees Rom and Nog lying next to him in what appears to be a dark laboratory. They both appear to be dead. Outside the lab, a human male dressed in a 1940's US Army officer uniform picks up an old-fashioned phone and tells the party on the other end to contact [[General]] [[Rex Denning|Denning]]... one of the "[[Martian]]s" is awake. The camera pans over to a calendar hanging on the wall... it is an old Betty Page style pin-up calendar, set on [[July]], [[1947]].
   
 
=== Act Two ===
 
=== Act Two ===
A military base, 1947 – one man in a suit, a doctor, and several men and women in US military uniforms stand on the other side of a two-way mirror, watching Quark, Rom, and Nog interact with each other. They have the farmer who found the ship, and they've convinced the "idiot in [[Roswell]]" who told the local paper they captured a flying saucer to issue a retraction... turns out, it was just a weather balloon. They're afraid that if word gets out that beings from another planet have landed on Earth, they'll create a nationwide panic. They're not telling anyone about the "Martians" until they know what they're up against. They turn on a speaker and hear the Ferengi speaking in their native tongue. Quark walks over to the door and tries to get it to open, but can't figure out how to use the door knob. The Humans watch this all with great interest.
+
A military base, 1947 – one man in a suit, a doctor, and several men and women in US military uniforms stand on the other side of a two-way mirror, watching Quark, Rom, and Nog interact with each other. They have the farmer who found the ship, and they've convinced the "idiot in [[Roswell]]" who told the local paper they captured a flying saucer to issue a retraction... turns out, it was just a weather balloon. They're afraid that if word gets out that beings from another planet have landed on Earth, they'll create a nationwide panic. They're not telling anyone about the "Martians" until they know what they're up against. They turn on a speaker and hear the Ferengi speaking in their native language. Quark walks over to the door and tries to get it to open, but can't figure out how to use the door knob. The Humans watch this all with great interest.
   
Inside the room, the Ferengi try to figure out where they are. They figure they must be on Earth, but they don't know where, except that it is not Starfleet Academy. Quark starts beating on the door, yelling at them to give him his ship back. The soldiers on the other side of the door pull their guns, thinking he's trying to escape. A female officer grabs the doctor's arm and tells him not to let the soldiers hurt Quark; he's just scared. He tells the general they need to try and communicate with them; the General tells him the [[President]] agrees... that's why he's here. Back inside the room, Quark is complaining that Earth was a bad idea, and that it is all Nog's fault because he insisted on joining Starfleet. Rom defends Nog, Quark yells at Rom, Nog yells at Quark, and Rom says maybe they're all dead, and this is the [[Divine Treasury]], the Ferengi version of Heaven. Quark says that's not possible; the Treasury is made of solid gold-pressed latinum, the [[Blessed Exchequer]] and the [[Celestial Auctioneers]] are missing, and they should be bidding for new lives right now. Rom says maybe they're in the other place... Nog suggests the [[Vault of Eternal Destitution]]? Quark scoffs and says that's impossible; the bar was turning a profit.
+
Inside the room, the Ferengi try to figure out where they are. They figure they must be on Earth, but they don't know where, except that it is not Starfleet Academy. Quark starts beating on the door, yelling at them to give him his ship back. The soldiers on the other side of the door pull their guns, thinking he's trying to escape. A female officer grabs the doctor's arm and tells him not to let the soldiers hurt Quark; he's just scared. He tells the general they need to try and communicate with them; the General tells him the [[President of the United States|President]] agrees... that's why he's here. Back inside the room, Quark is complaining that Earth was a bad idea, and that it is all Nog's fault because he insisted on joining Starfleet. Rom defends Nog, Quark yells at Rom, Nog yells at Quark, and Rom says maybe they're all dead, and this is the [[Divine Treasury]], the Ferengi version of Heaven. Quark says that's not possible; the Treasury is made of solid gold-pressed latinum, the [[Blessed Exchequer]] and the [[Celestial Auctioneers]] are missing, and they should be bidding for new lives right now. Rom says maybe they're in the other place... Nog suggests the [[Vault of Eternal Destitution]]? Quark scoffs and says that's impossible; the bar was turning a profit.
   
 
[[File:Hyumans mimicking ferengi.jpg|thumb|left|Humans mimic the three Ferengi, believing that what they do is a form of greeting]]
 
[[File:Hyumans mimicking ferengi.jpg|thumb|left|Humans mimic the three Ferengi, believing that what they do is a form of greeting]]
The door opens, and two armed men enter the room, followed by the female nurse, one of the officers, and the doctor. He tries to communicate with the Ferengi; they don't understand a word he says. Rom figures their [[universal translator]]s must not be working, and they all three start hitting their heads, trying to reset the translators. The Humans think they must be some sort of greeting, and start hitting their heads in return. Quark looks at them in amazement; Rom says maybe their universal translators are broken, too. Nog says they don't have universal translators; he recognizes the uniforms from the PADD Bashir gave him. The uniforms are from the [[20th century]], one of Earth's old [[nation-state]]s, [[Australia]], or something. They figure out they've traveled back in time almost 400 years. Rom asks if they don't have universal translators, then why are they banging their heads. Quark hits his head, and the Humans do it to. Quark repeats the action, and so do they. Quark figures out they are just mimicking the Ferengi. He says he never realized primitive Humans were so stupid. Nog says they were also violent, petty, bigoted, and selfish. Quark says, "''The three of us, and millions of primitive hew-mans... I like those odds.''"
+
The door opens, and two armed men enter the room, followed by the female nurse, one of the officers, and the doctor. He tries to communicate with the Ferengi; they don't understand a word he says. Rom figures their [[universal translator]]s must not be working, and they all three start hitting their heads, trying to reset the translators. The Humans think they must be some sort of greeting, and start hitting their heads in return. Quark looks at them in amazement; Rom says maybe their universal translators are broken, too. Nog says they don't have universal translators; he recognizes the uniforms from the PADD Bashir gave him back on [[DS9]] about Earth. The uniforms are from the [[20th century]], one of Earth's old [[nation-state]]s, [[Australia]], or something. They figure out they've travelled back in time almost 400 years. Rom asks if they don't have universal translators, then why are they banging their heads. Quark hits his head, and the Humans do it too. Quark repeats the action, and so do they. Quark figures out they are just mimicking the Ferengi. He says he never realized primitive Humans were so stupid. Nog says they were also violent, petty, bigoted, and selfish. Quark says, "''The three of us, and millions of primitive hew-mans... I like those odds.''"
   
 
=== Act Three ===
 
=== Act Three ===
 
[[File:Faith garland.jpg|thumb|Faith Garland, 20th century Human]]
 
[[File:Faith garland.jpg|thumb|Faith Garland, 20th century Human]]
The nurse takes Quark's blood pressure, and Quark asks for ''[[oomox]]'' in his native tongue. She has no idea what he says, of course. She smiles, and walks over to the doctor. She tells him she has run every test she can think of, and all she can tell him is, they're not Human. They watch Rom try to repair Nog's universal translator, and think they're involved in some kind of grooming ritual, like gorillas. She correctly assumes they are father and son, and the doctor wonders if Quark is related somehow. She says for all they know, he could be the mother. The doctor says if that's true, Quark is quite a shrew.
+
The nurse takes Quark's blood pressure, and Quark asks for ''[[oomox]]'' in his native language. She has no idea what he says, of course. She smiles, and walks over to the doctor. She tells him she has run every test she can think of, and all she can tell him is, they're not Human. They watch Rom try to repair Nog's universal translator, and think they're involved in some kind of grooming ritual, like gorillas. She correctly assumes they are father and son, and the doctor wonders if Quark is related somehow. She says for all they know, he could be the mother. The doctor says if that's true, Quark is quite a shrew.
   
 
Rom figures out that the interference disrupting their translators is coming from theta radiation from nuclear fission. Quark tells him not to be an idiot; fission doesn't happen within planetary atmospheres. Nog explains that here, it does. In the 20th century, Humans used to use crude fission reactors as weapons, calling them "[[Atomic bomb|Atom bombs]]." Quark can't believe how stupid the Humans are for polluting their own planet. Quark tells Rom to hurry up and fix the translators; the sooner they start communicating with these "savages," the better.
 
Rom figures out that the interference disrupting their translators is coming from theta radiation from nuclear fission. Quark tells him not to be an idiot; fission doesn't happen within planetary atmospheres. Nog explains that here, it does. In the 20th century, Humans used to use crude fission reactors as weapons, calling them "[[Atomic bomb|Atom bombs]]." Quark can't believe how stupid the Humans are for polluting their own planet. Quark tells Rom to hurry up and fix the translators; the sooner they start communicating with these "savages," the better.
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Rom sees the female playing with a hair pin, and points at it. The man figures out that Rom wants it, and she gives it to him. Rom takes the hairpin and jabs it in Nog's ear, looking for the reset button on his translator. The Humans recoil, thinking it must hurt. The doctor lights up two cigarettes, one for him and one for her, and expresses dismay at not having enough help to try and communicate with the Ferengi, and the woman says she's sure he'll find a way. She can't wait to find out how much they can learn from the Ferengi; how maybe, in a few years, Humans will have rocket ships of their own and travel the [[Milky Way Galaxy|galaxy]], "exploring new worlds and new civilizations." He chuckles, and says that she's a dreamer; she replies, that's why you love me. He smiles, and says that here they are, in the middle of one of the biggest discoveries in Human history, and all he can think about is how she'll look in her wedding dress. She smiles bashfully and says her mother keeps asking where they're going on their honeymoon; she thinks they should go to [[Niagara Falls]]. He says who knows... maybe we'll go to Mars. Quark notices the smell from the cigarettes burning, and Nog tells him about tobacco, how [[poison]]ous and addictive it is. Rom asks where they get it; Nog tells them it is readily available in stores. Quark is amazed; he says if they'll buy poison, they'll buy anything. Nog says he hopes he wouldn't do anything to disrupt the timeline; they could all cease to exist.
 
Rom sees the female playing with a hair pin, and points at it. The man figures out that Rom wants it, and she gives it to him. Rom takes the hairpin and jabs it in Nog's ear, looking for the reset button on his translator. The Humans recoil, thinking it must hurt. The doctor lights up two cigarettes, one for him and one for her, and expresses dismay at not having enough help to try and communicate with the Ferengi, and the woman says she's sure he'll find a way. She can't wait to find out how much they can learn from the Ferengi; how maybe, in a few years, Humans will have rocket ships of their own and travel the [[Milky Way Galaxy|galaxy]], "exploring new worlds and new civilizations." He chuckles, and says that she's a dreamer; she replies, that's why you love me. He smiles, and says that here they are, in the middle of one of the biggest discoveries in Human history, and all he can think about is how she'll look in her wedding dress. She smiles bashfully and says her mother keeps asking where they're going on their honeymoon; she thinks they should go to [[Niagara Falls]]. He says who knows... maybe we'll go to Mars. Quark notices the smell from the cigarettes burning, and Nog tells him about tobacco, how [[poison]]ous and addictive it is. Rom asks where they get it; Nog tells them it is readily available in stores. Quark is amazed; he says if they'll buy poison, they'll buy anything. Nog says he hopes he wouldn't do anything to disrupt the timeline; they could all cease to exist.
   
In the hangar, the soldiers are examining the ship, but they can't figure out how it runs. The doctor is out for a stroll, and he kneels down to pet a [[German Shepherd]]. The general asks him if they've made any progress. The doctor says he would think that creatures as technologically advanced as they seem to be would communicate telepathically, but they seem to have a developed language. He says, in time, a team of linguists should be able to figure it out. The captain says no one else is getting called in on the project. The general says the president wants answers, and he wants them now. The nurse comes outside, and tells them they need to get in there, now. They come inside, and the dog follows them in. Quark announces, so that they understand, that he is Quark, the Chief Financial Officer of the Ferengi Alliance, and he has a business proposition for them.
+
In the hangar, the soldiers are examining the ship, but they can't make heads or tails to how it runs. The doctor is out for a stroll, and he kneels down to pet a [[German Shepherd]]. The general asks him if they've made any progress. The doctor says he would think that creatures as technologically advanced as they seem to be would communicate telepathically, but they seem to have a developed language. He says, in time, a team of linguists should be able to figure it out. The captain says no one else is getting called in on the project there is already too many people who know about the Ferengi. The general says that president [[Truman]] is an impatient man and wants answers, and he wants them now. The nurse comes outside, and tells them they need to get in there, now. They come inside, and the dog follows them in. Quark announces, so that they understand, that he is Quark, the [[chief financial officer]] of the Ferengi Alliance, and he has a business proposition for them.
   
 
=== Act Four ===
 
=== Act Four ===
The general looks in Quark's ear with a [[flashlight]] and says he sees no universal translator; Quark says trust me, it is in there. The general asks how it works, and Quark says it is simple, if you know how. Anything is possible with advanced technology. He then goes into his sales pitch: he is there to open up a market for advanced Ferengi technology with the people of 20th century Earth. [[starship|Ships]], [[transporter]]s, [[medicine]], [[replicator]]s, weapons, all in exchange for gold. The general says Quark reminds him of his brother-in-law... a used car salesman, and not a very good one. Bottom line: he doesn't trust him. Quark threatens to take his "business" to the Russians, and the general doesn't like that. He says he'll have to get clearance from the president. Quark agrees, and offers some free advice: stop poisoning themselves with tobacco and atom bombs... they'll kill you. The general asks what he knows about atom bombs, and Quark says Ferengi have been watching Earth for years, and know all about Humans: [[baseball]], [[root beer]], [[darts]], and [[atom bomb]]s... quite a fascinating culture. He tells the general to go talk to the president.
+
The general looks in Quark's ear with a [[flashlight]] and says he sees no universal translator; Quark says trust me, it is in there. The general asks how it works, and Quark says it is simple, if you know how. Anything is possible with advanced technology. In typical Ferengi fashion he then goes into his sales pitch: he is there to open up a market for advanced Ferengi technology with the people of 20th century Earth. [[starship|Ships]], [[transporter]]s, [[medicine]], [[replicator]]s, weapons, are all available in exchange for gold. The general says Quark reminds him of his brother-in-law... a used car salesman, and not a very good one. Bottom line: he doesn't trust him. Quark threatens to take his "business" to the Russians, and the general doesn't like that. He says he'll have to get clearance from the president. Quark agrees, and offers some free advice: stop poisoning themselves with tobacco and atom bombs... they'll kill you. The general asks what he knows about atom bombs, and Quark says Ferengi have been watching Earth for years, and know all about Humans: [[baseball]], [[root beer]], [[darts]], and [[atom bomb]]s... quite a fascinating culture. He tells the general to go talk to the president.
   
Rom and Nog are talking to the doctor and his [[fiancée]], telling them all about [[Ferenginar]]. The German Shepherd is sitting on the counter. Rom has just told the doctor that women on Ferenginar go around naked, and it is the law; Nurse Garland tells them she's never visiting there, and neither is he. Nog manipulates Garland into innocently giving him ''oo-mox''. Quark comes back to the room, and Rom asks how his meeting with the general went. He gets Nurse Garland and the doctor to leave the room, and tells them everything is fine. The German Shepherd barks at Quark, and he complains that the Humans forgot to take it with them. It runs over to him and puts its front paws on his shoulders. The German Shepherd morphs into Odo, who tells him he is placing Quark under arrest for attempting to smuggle kemocite. He tells them he hid on board the ship, which is in a hangar on the other side of the base. It is damaged, but the engines are functional. They can use it to get away from the base. Nog says that they'll be stuck 400 years in the past. Rom tells them all that if there is enough kemocite left, and if he can find a powerful enough energy source, he might be able to get them home, to their time. Odo asks what kind of energy source, but Quark interrupts, and tells them all they're not going anywhere, that inside a year, they'll be running the whole place. The Humans here are cruel, gullible, and greedy... and he can manipulate them. Once they run the whole planet, they'll contact the Ferengi of this time and sell them their ship. Ferengi will have warp drive before any other power in the quadrant, and set up a financial empire the likes of which even [[Grand Nagus]] [[Zek]] couldn't dream of... and Quark can run it all. Odo says he has a very vivid imagination, but the only place they're going is back to their own time. He'll have the ship ready in six hours... and they're all going to be on it. Quark says he's not going back, and neither is his ship. Odo says we'll see about that. He morphs back into a dog and waits by the door.
+
Rom and Nog are talking to the doctor and his [[fiancée]], telling them all about [[Ferenginar]]. The German Shepherd is sitting on the counter. Rom has just told the doctor that women on Ferenginar go around naked, and it is the law; Nurse Garland tells them she's never visiting there, and neither is he. Nog manipulates Garland into innocently giving him ''oo-mox''. Quark comes back to the room, and Rom asks how his meeting with the general went. He gets Nurse Garland and the doctor to leave the room, and tells them everything is fine. The German Shepherd barks at Quark, and he complains that the Humans forgot to take it with them. It runs over to him and puts its front paws on his shoulders. The German Shepherd morphs into Odo, who tells him he is placing Quark under arrest for attempting to smuggle kemocite. He tells them he hid on board the ship, which is in a hangar on the other side of the base. It is damaged, but the engines are functional. They can use it to get away from the base. Nog says that they'll be stuck 400 years in the past. Rom tells them all that if there is enough kemocite left, and if he can find a powerful enough energy source, he might be able to get them home, to their time. Odo asks what kind of energy source, but Quark interrupts, and tells them all they're not going anywhere, that inside a year, they'll be running the whole place. The Humans here are cruel, gullible, and greedy... and he can manipulate them. Once they run the whole planet, they'll contact the Ferengi of this time and sell them their ship. Ferengi will have warp drive before any other power in the quadrant, and set up a financial empire the likes of which even [[Grand Nagus]] [[Zek]] couldn't dream of... and Quark can run it all. Odo says he has a very vivid imagination, but the only place they're going is back to their own time. He'll have the ship ready in six hours... and they're all going to be on it. Quark says he's not going back, and neither is his ship. Odo says we'll see about that. He morphs back into a dog and waits by the door.
   
 
Outside, the captain is pacing by the door when the general pulls up. He tells the captain the president said no deal, not until they know more about the aliens. The captain says he'll find out, and the general gives his okay. The captain goes inside the building. Inside, Quark is trying to convince Rom and Nog to stay, but they want to go. Six MPs enter the room, three with pistols drawn. The other three put bags over the Ferengi's heads, and escort them none too gently from the room. They are tied to chairs, and the captain begins to interrogate Quark. He tells them if they don't let him go, he'll take his business to the Russians. The captain says that's a good place to start... tell us what you know about the Russians. Nurse Garland walks up to Quark with a syringe full of liquid, and Quark realizes he's in a lot more trouble than he thought.
 
Outside, the captain is pacing by the door when the general pulls up. He tells the captain the president said no deal, not until they know more about the aliens. The captain says he'll find out, and the general gives his okay. The captain goes inside the building. Inside, Quark is trying to convince Rom and Nog to stay, but they want to go. Six MPs enter the room, three with pistols drawn. The other three put bags over the Ferengi's heads, and escort them none too gently from the room. They are tied to chairs, and the captain begins to interrogate Quark. He tells them if they don't let him go, he'll take his business to the Russians. The captain says that's a good place to start... tell us what you know about the Russians. Nurse Garland walks up to Quark with a syringe full of liquid, and Quark realizes he's in a lot more trouble than he thought.
   
 
=== Act Five ===
 
=== Act Five ===
Nurse Garland sticks the needle in Quark's arm and he starts to scream. After five injections of [[Sodium Pentathol]], she tells the captain it is not working. She tells the captain it is wrong; "''these people are our guests''". The captain says they're not people, they're things, invaders from another world, and it is up to them to put an end to whatever the Ferengi might be planning. He grabs a scalpel and threatens to cut Quark open if he doesn't tell him what he wants to hear. Nog asks if there are laws against this kind of thing; the captain tells him not when it comes to national security. He threatens each of them in turn, until Rom breaks, and tells them it was an accident, that they never meant to come to Earth in the 1940s, and they're from the future, all the while, crying for his [[moogie]]. Nog says they're the advance scouts for the Ferengi invasion fleet, confirming the captain's fears. He tells the "puny Earthlings" that they have been studying them for centuries, and they are ripe for conquest. He calls Quark the "Supreme Commander" and tells the Humans that 300 ''Marauder''-class attack cruisers are orbiting the planet, preparing to attack. Quark tries to convince them they just want to sell them things, and the doctor says he doesn't believe the invasion story, all while Rom is crying for his moogie. Nog keeps up the invasion story, telling them that when the appointed hour arrives, the ships will decloak and begin transporting Klingon shock troops directly to the landing zone... killing all the males, and taking all the females to mate with. The captain asks where the landing zone is; Nog will show him on the map if he unties him. One of the M.P.s unties Nog, and the other goes to get the General. Nog points to the Great Lakes area, saying the first landing parties will invade here. The captain leans over to get a closer look at the map, and Nog hits him in the stomach and over the head, causing him to drop his gun. The MP pulls his weapon, and Nurse Garland tells him not to hurt Nog. Nog says it was an accident, he didn't mean to hit the captain, he tripped. The captain tells the MP to shoot Nog, but the doctor takes out the MP before he can fire. Nurse Garland hits the captain over the head with a tray and unties Quark. They tell the Ferengi they are helping them escape, and Rom asks if they'll get in trouble. Quark says of course not, since they forced the Humans to help them using... Nurse Garland fills in the blank, ... "your insidious mind control powers." Quark compliments her on her quick thinking, and they make their way to the ship.
+
Nurse Garland sticks the needle in Quark's arm and he starts to scream. After five injections of [[Sodium Pentathol]], she tells the captain it is not working. She tells the captain it is wrong; "''these people are our guests''". The captain says they're not people, they're things, invaders from another world, and it is up to them to put an end to whatever the Ferengi might be planning. He grabs a scalpel and threatens to cut Quark open if he doesn't tell him what he wants to hear. Nog asks if there are laws against this kind of thing; the captain tells him not when it comes to national security. He threatens each of them in turn, until Rom breaks, and tells them it was an accident, that they never meant to come to Earth in the 1940s, and they're from the future, all the while, crying for his [[moogie]]. Nog tells the captain's what he wants to hear saying that they're the advance scouts for the Ferengi invasion fleet, confirming the captain's fears. He tells the "puny Earthlings" that they have been studying them for centuries, and they are ripe for conquest. He calls Quark the "Supreme Commander" and tells the Humans that 300 ''Marauder''-class attack cruisers are orbiting the planet, preparing to attack. Quark tries to convince them they just want to sell them things, and the doctor says he doesn't believe the invasion story, all while Rom is crying for his moogie. Nog keeps up the invasion story, telling them that when the appointed hour arrives, the ships will decloak and begin transporting Klingon shock troops directly to the landing zone... killing all the males, and taking all the females to mate with. The captain asks where the landing zone is; Nog will show him on the map if he unties him. One of the M.P.s unties Nog, and the other goes to get the General. Nog points to the Great Lakes area, saying the first landing parties will invade here. The captain leans over to get a closer look at the map, and Nog hits him in the stomach and over the head, causing him to drop his [[M1911]]. The MP pulls his M1911, and Nurse Garland tells him not to hurt Nog. Nog says it was an accident, he didn't mean to hit the captain, he tripped. The captain tells the MP to shoot Nog, but the doctor takes out the MP before he can fire. Nurse Garland hits the captain over the head with a tray and unties Quark. They tell the Ferengi they are helping them escape, and Rom asks if they'll get in trouble. Quark says of course not, since they forced the Humans to help them using... Nurse Garland fills in the blank, ... "your insidious mind control powers." Quark compliments her on her quick thinking, and they make their way to the ship.
   
The general and two MPs stop them. Quark grabs Nurse Garland and points his finger at her, telling them he'll disintegrate the hostage with his "death ray." The general says it looks a lot like a finger to him. With the distraction, Odo shape-shifts out of a nearby truck and takes out the two MPs and the general. They commandeer a Jeep and get to the hangar. The doctor tells them an atomic blast will occur in seven minutes. Quark thanks the two "hew-mans," and Nurse Garland says that she only hopes one day man can travel the stars and take its place among a vast alliance of planets. Rom corrects her: "''Federation.''" The Ferengi get in their ship and take off. The captain gets to the general and asks "What do we do now?" The general says "About what, Captain? All we ever found was a crashed weather balloon."
+
The general and two MPs stop them. Quark grabs Nurse Garland and points his finger at her, telling them he'll disintegrate the hostage with his "death ray." The general says it looks a lot like a finger to him. With the distraction, Odo shape-shifts out of a nearby truck and takes out the two MPs and the general. They commandeer a Jeep and get to the hangar. The doctor tells them an atomic blast will occur in seven minutes. Quark thanks the two "hew-mans," and Nurse Garland says that she only hopes one day man can travel the stars and take its place among a vast alliance of planets. Rom corrects her: "''Federation.''" Nog stops him from explaining further saying that he is an idiot The Ferengi get in their ship and take off. The captain gets to the general and asks "What do we do now?" The general says "About what, Captain? All we ever found was a crashed weather balloon."
   
 
Rom tells them all they have to do is fly directly into the atomic blast and expose the kemocite to the beta radiation, and it will cause a reverse time warp that they can just ride home. Odo tells Quark if it doesn't work, he'll hold him personally responsible. At the target site, the bomb goes off, and the ship gets buffeted by the explosion. The ship materializes in Earth orbit back in their own time.
 
Rom tells them all they have to do is fly directly into the atomic blast and expose the kemocite to the beta radiation, and it will cause a reverse time warp that they can just ride home. Odo tells Quark if it doesn't work, he'll hold him personally responsible. At the target site, the bomb goes off, and the ship gets buffeted by the explosion. The ship materializes in Earth orbit back in their own time.
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== Memorable Quotes ==
 
== Memorable Quotes ==
 
 
"''Ferengi at [[Starfleet Academy|the Academy]]...I am not sure that is wise.''"<br />
 
"''Ferengi at [[Starfleet Academy|the Academy]]...I am not sure that is wise.''"<br />
 
"''Oh, I don't know about that...not so long ago, someone might've said the same thing about you.''"
 
"''Oh, I don't know about that...not so long ago, someone might've said the same thing about you.''"
Line 95: Line 94:
   
   
"''Quark, Rom and Nog, together on that ship, all the way to Earth...glad ''I'm'' not going with them...''"<br />
+
"''Quark, Rom and Nog, together on that ship, all the way to Earth... glad ''I'm'' not going with them...''"<br />
"''Only thing that worries me...no one warned Earth that they're coming!''"
+
"''Only thing that worries me... no one warned Earth that they're coming!''"
 
: - '''Kira''' and '''Sisko''', after the Ferengi leave the station
 
: - '''Kira''' and '''Sisko''', after the Ferengi leave the station
  +
  +
  +
"''Rom, you're a genius!''"<br />
  +
"''Think so?''"<br />
  +
"''How should I know?! I have no idea what you're talking about! Just do it!''"<br />
  +
: - Quark and Rom, after Rom has just explained his idea to force the ship out of Warp.
   
   
Line 104: Line 109:
   
   
"''They weren't just stupid. They were violent, petty, bigoted, and selfish''"
+
"''They weren't just stupid. They were violent, petty, bigoted, and selfish.''"
 
: - '''Nog''' about Humans
 
: - '''Nog''' about Humans
   
Line 143: Line 148:
 
=== Story and script===
 
=== Story and script===
 
* This episode was written and designed to be an homage to '50s B-movies. (''[[Deep Space Nine Chronicles]]'')
 
* This episode was written and designed to be an homage to '50s B-movies. (''[[Deep Space Nine Chronicles]]'')
*Indeed, as [[Robert Hewitt Wolfe]] explains, "''All the characters are archetypes from those movies; the sort of Human nurse who sees beyond appearance, and the tough, cigar chomping general, and the sort of traitorous mid-level military officer, and the noble scientist, and it was just like so much fun just to play with all those archetypal science fiction characters, sort of give a nod even beyond [[Star Trek: The Original Series|''The Original Series'']], but a nod to all these great movies from the fifties which made ''[[Star Trek]]'' possible in the first place''." (''Charting New Territory: Deep Space Nine Season 4'', [[DS9 Season 4 DVD]] special features)
+
* Indeed, as [[Robert Hewitt Wolfe]] explains, "''All the characters are archetypes from those movies; the sort of Human nurse who sees beyond appearance, and the tough, cigar chomping general, and the sort of traitorous mid-level military officer, and the noble scientist, and it was just like so much fun just to play with all those archetypal science fiction characters, sort of give a nod even beyond [[Star Trek: The Original Series|''The Original Series'']], but a nod to all these great movies from the fifties which made ''[[Star Trek]]'' possible in the first place''." (''Charting New Territory: Deep Space Nine Season 4'', [[DS9 Season 4 DVD]] special features)
 
* The title of this episode is a nod to a line spoken in {{TOS|Tomorrow is Yesterday}}. [[John Christopher]] states "''...and I never have believed in little green men''." In that episode, the {{USS|Enterprise|NCC-1701}} and her crew are transported to the late 1960s and much of the action takes place inside a US Air Force base.
 
* The title of this episode is a nod to a line spoken in {{TOS|Tomorrow is Yesterday}}. [[John Christopher]] states "''...and I never have believed in little green men''." In that episode, the {{USS|Enterprise|NCC-1701}} and her crew are transported to the late 1960s and much of the action takes place inside a US Air Force base.
 
* [[Toni Marberry]] and [[Jack Treviño]] pitched the story during the [[DS9 Season 1|first season]] of ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|Deep Space Nine]]'', but [[Michael Piller]] wasn't keen on the concept. Early in the [[DS9 Season 4|fourth season]], with the 50th anniversary of the [[Roswell]] incident approaching, [[René Echevarria]] proposed that they do the 'Roswell show', and everyone agreed. (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'')
 
* [[Toni Marberry]] and [[Jack Treviño]] pitched the story during the [[DS9 Season 1|first season]] of ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|Deep Space Nine]]'', but [[Michael Piller]] wasn't keen on the concept. Early in the [[DS9 Season 4|fourth season]], with the 50th anniversary of the [[Roswell]] incident approaching, [[René Echevarria]] proposed that they do the 'Roswell show', and everyone agreed. (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'')
Line 150: Line 155:
 
* If Behr was unhappy with how the criticisms of nicotine turned out, he has no such reservations about the criticisms of the [[atomic weapon|A-bomb]]. Behr says that while writing the teleplay for this episode he saw the 1994 {{w|James Cameron}} movie ''{{w|True Lies}}'', starring {{w|Arnold Schwarzenegger}}. According to Behr, the movie incensed him because an A-bomb is used as the backdrop for a kiss between the lead character and his wife. This led him to deduce that "''the difference in movie-making between ''{{w|Dr. Strangelove}}'' and ''True Lies'' exemplifies a culture that has lost its way, where the blast of an atomic bomb literally seems to have lost its meaning. I thought that if the everyday coded messages of 'what things mean' has become so tainted, and so lost that we are no longer able to identify the world clearly and understandably because of our inability to use the language and the visualization of things, then let's just take it and make it even stupider''." This is why, at the end of the episode, Behr had an atomic bomb save [[Quark]], as a commentary on the absurdity of the scene in ''True Lies'' and on a society that accepts such a scene as perfectly okay; the greatest weapon known to man is employed in a ''deus ex machina'' style ending to save the hero. (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'')
 
* If Behr was unhappy with how the criticisms of nicotine turned out, he has no such reservations about the criticisms of the [[atomic weapon|A-bomb]]. Behr says that while writing the teleplay for this episode he saw the 1994 {{w|James Cameron}} movie ''{{w|True Lies}}'', starring {{w|Arnold Schwarzenegger}}. According to Behr, the movie incensed him because an A-bomb is used as the backdrop for a kiss between the lead character and his wife. This led him to deduce that "''the difference in movie-making between ''{{w|Dr. Strangelove}}'' and ''True Lies'' exemplifies a culture that has lost its way, where the blast of an atomic bomb literally seems to have lost its meaning. I thought that if the everyday coded messages of 'what things mean' has become so tainted, and so lost that we are no longer able to identify the world clearly and understandably because of our inability to use the language and the visualization of things, then let's just take it and make it even stupider''." This is why, at the end of the episode, Behr had an atomic bomb save [[Quark]], as a commentary on the absurdity of the scene in ''True Lies'' and on a society that accepts such a scene as perfectly okay; the greatest weapon known to man is employed in a ''deus ex machina'' style ending to save the hero. (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'')
 
* [[General]] [[Rex Denning]] was named after actor {{w|Richard Denning}} (''{{w|The Creature from the Black Lagoon}}'', ''{{w|Day the World Ended}}''); [[Nurse]] [[Faith Garland]] was named after actress {{w|Beverly Garland}} (''{{w|Swamp Women}}'', ''{{w|It Conquered the World}}''); [[Professor]] [[Jeff Carlson]] was named after actor {{w|Richard Carlson}} (''{{w|The Magnetic Monster}}'', ''{{w|It Came from Outer Space}}''). (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'', p. 287)
 
* [[General]] [[Rex Denning]] was named after actor {{w|Richard Denning}} (''{{w|The Creature from the Black Lagoon}}'', ''{{w|Day the World Ended}}''); [[Nurse]] [[Faith Garland]] was named after actress {{w|Beverly Garland}} (''{{w|Swamp Women}}'', ''{{w|It Conquered the World}}''); [[Professor]] [[Jeff Carlson]] was named after actor {{w|Richard Carlson}} (''{{w|The Magnetic Monster}}'', ''{{w|It Came from Outer Space}}''). (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'', p. 287)
  +
 
===Production===
 
===Production===
 
* Both {{w|Jonathan Haze}} (from the 1960 {{w|Roger Corman}} film ''{{w|The Little Shop of Horrors}}'') and {{w|Gregory Walcott}} (from the 1959 {{w|Edward D. Wood, Jr.}} film ''{{w|Plan 9 From Outer Space}}'') auditioned for the role of [[General]] [[Rex Denning]].
 
* Both {{w|Jonathan Haze}} (from the 1960 {{w|Roger Corman}} film ''{{w|The Little Shop of Horrors}}'') and {{w|Gregory Walcott}} (from the 1959 {{w|Edward D. Wood, Jr.}} film ''{{w|Plan 9 From Outer Space}}'') auditioned for the role of [[General]] [[Rex Denning]].
  +
*[[Glenn Neufeld]] located an original negative of the footage of the nuclear detonation and cleaned it up substantially for the episode. (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - The Official Poster Magazine]]'', issue 6)
 
* This episode is directed by [[James L. Conway]]. In this episode, Quark's ship is stored in Hangar 18. Not coincidentally, Conway directed a movie called ''{{w|Hangar 18 (film)|Hangar 18}}'', a film about the Roswell incident. As soon as Conway heard about the upcoming "Hangar 18 episode", he expressed his interest to [[Ira Steven Behr]]. He noted, "''Directing this was like coming full circle.''" (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'', p. 287)
  +
 
===Reception===
 
===Reception===
 
* This episode is a favorite of [[Armin Shimerman]], who comments, "''It's a favorite of the fans, it's a favorite of mine. It was a major catalyst in the investigation of the family relationship. It's one of the first episode where we see the [[Ferengi]] working together as a family, and that was the beginning of an avalanche of stories about that. It was a delight to work because the writers gave me wonderful, I can't put this any other way, [[Spock]]-like comments, where I'm outside of Humanity, as a Ferengi, and talking about how they act, having some point of view about what they do right, what they do wrong, and letting them know about it. There were more episodes where that happened, but "Little Green Men" was perhaps the most delightful. It also gave Quark a ship. It was the only time I got to captain a ship, even for a brief moment in time, but for a ''Star Trek'' actor, those little things can be very important''." (Hidden File 02, [[DS9 Season 4 DVD]] special features)
 
* This episode is a favorite of [[Armin Shimerman]], who comments, "''It's a favorite of the fans, it's a favorite of mine. It was a major catalyst in the investigation of the family relationship. It's one of the first episode where we see the [[Ferengi]] working together as a family, and that was the beginning of an avalanche of stories about that. It was a delight to work because the writers gave me wonderful, I can't put this any other way, [[Spock]]-like comments, where I'm outside of Humanity, as a Ferengi, and talking about how they act, having some point of view about what they do right, what they do wrong, and letting them know about it. There were more episodes where that happened, but "Little Green Men" was perhaps the most delightful. It also gave Quark a ship. It was the only time I got to captain a ship, even for a brief moment in time, but for a ''Star Trek'' actor, those little things can be very important''." (Hidden File 02, [[DS9 Season 4 DVD]] special features)
  +
* Ira Steven Behr commented "''I would think - though I could be wrong - that even the fans who ''despise'' the Ferengi might be won over by "Little Green Men". I thought it was a wonderful show, it worked on cylinders, and it's gotten a great response''". ("The Behr Necessities, [[Star Trek Monthly issue 12|''Star Trek Monthly'', issue 12]])
*[[René Echevarria]] commented "''"Little Green Men" and {{e|The Trouble with Tribbles}} are probably the two best ''[[Star Trek]]'' comedic episodes ever filmed. It was just a delight''". (''[[Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages]]'', p 109)
+
* [[René Echevarria]] commented "''"Little Green Men" and {{e|The Trouble with Tribbles}} are probably the two best ''[[Star Trek]]'' comedic episodes ever filmed. It was just a delight''". (''[[Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages]]'', p 109)
*In ''[[Star Trek 101]]'', [[Terry J. Erdmann]] and [[Paula M. Block]] list "Little Green Men" as being one of the "Ten Essential Episodes" from ''Star Trek: Deep Space Nine''.
+
* In ''[[Star Trek 101]]'', [[Terry J. Erdmann]] and [[Paula M. Block]] list "Little Green Men" as being one of the "Ten Essential Episodes" from ''Star Trek: Deep Space Nine''.
  +
* ''[[Cinefantastique]]'' ranked "Little Green Men" as the fifth best episode of ''Star Trek: Deep Space Nine''. (''Cinefantastique'', Vol. 32, No. 4/5, p. 98)
  +
* On the popularity of "Little Green Men", Megan Gallagher commented "''Not to brag, but I've got a long resume. I've done six television series as a regular and recurred on a lot of other shows, and I have gotten more fan mail about that individual episode than anything else I've ever done, including the entire run of ''Millennium''. Actually, I'd say "Little Green Men" and ''Larry Sanders'' are on a par with each other. But I think people loved "Little Green Men" because it was funny and different, and because of the whole mythology and mystery surrounding Roswell. When you mix ''Star Trek'' and Roswell, I think it just triggers various parts of the sci-fi brain simultaneously. And the episode was just really beautifully done, the way they shot it, the Dutch angles, all of the period stuff, the sort of ''It Came from Outer Space'' way it looked. It had all these great inside jokes. It just combined so many different and fun things about being a sci-fi fan"''. [http://www.startrek.com/article/exclusive-interview-ds9-voyager-guest-star-megan-gallagher]
  +
 
===Trivia===
 
===Trivia===
* This episode is directed by [[James L. Conway]]. In this episode, Quark's ship is stored in Hangar 18. Not coincidentally, Conway directed a movie called ''{{w|Hangar 18 (film)|Hangar 18}}'', a film about the Roswell incident. As soon as Conway heard about the upcoming "Hangar 18 episode", he expressed his interest to [[Ira Steven Behr]]. He noted, "''Directing this was like coming full circle.''" (''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion]]'', p. 287)
 
 
* "''All I ask is a tall ship... and a load of contraband to fill it with''" is a paraphrase of [[John Masefield]]'s famous poem, [[Sea-Fever]], which includes the line, "''All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by''", which is also the quote on the {{USS|Defiant|2370}}'s [[dedication plaque]]. It was also quoted twice before, by [[James T. Kirk]] in {{TOS|The Ultimate Computer}} and {{film|5}}.
 
* "''All I ask is a tall ship... and a load of contraband to fill it with''" is a paraphrase of [[John Masefield]]'s famous poem, [[Sea-Fever]], which includes the line, "''All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by''", which is also the quote on the {{USS|Defiant|2370}}'s [[dedication plaque]]. It was also quoted twice before, by [[James T. Kirk]] in {{TOS|The Ultimate Computer}} and {{film|5}}.
 
* This is the first episode where entire sentences of [[Ferengi language]] are heard.
 
* This is the first episode where entire sentences of [[Ferengi language]] are heard.
Line 170: Line 182:
 
* Denning's description of President [[Harry S. Truman|Truman]] as a "piano-playing [[Democrat]]" is the only time in all of ''Star Trek'' in which a democratically elected figure is identified by the political party he or she is affiliated with.
 
* Denning's description of President [[Harry S. Truman|Truman]] as a "piano-playing [[Democrat]]" is the only time in all of ''Star Trek'' in which a democratically elected figure is identified by the political party he or she is affiliated with.
 
* This episode firmly establishes, via the universal translator, that Quark, Rom, and Nog are never actually speaking English in the series.
 
* This episode firmly establishes, via the universal translator, that Quark, Rom, and Nog are never actually speaking English in the series.
  +
* Based on [[Quark]]'s line ''"Once we get things in order here, we'll contact the [[Ferenginar|Ferengi homeworld]] and sell them our ship. The [[Ferengi]] will have [[warp drive]] technology centuries before [[Human]]s or [[Klingon]]s or even the [[Vulcan]]s."'', it is established that [[Qo'noS]] and [[Vulcan (planet)|Vulcan]] had not yet become warp-capable by [[1947]]. However, in {{film|8}} it was established that Humans would achieve warp drive in only another [[2063|116 years]] from 1947, so not exactly "centuries" later. It was also established in {{ENT|Carbon Creek}} that Vulcans had warp-capable ships only [[1957|ten years later]]. Moreover, it has been established in several episodes that Vulcans and Klingons possessed interstellar travel capability long before 1947. Based on {{ENT|The Andorian Incident}}, the first known instance of Vulcan interstellar travel was around [[1st millennium BC|850 BC]], when the Vulcan [[P'Jem]] monastery was built outside the [[Vulcan system]]. According to {{TNG|Rightful Heir}}, the Klingon monastery in the star system with the planet [[Boreth]] was built shortly after the death of [[Kahless]]. According to the episode {{VOY|Day of Honor}}, Kahless lived in the [[9th century]]. It has however not been established what [[propulsion]] technology was used for interstellar travel on these early voyages. The fact that Quark was inaccurate with his "centuries" statement might however indicate he was also inaccurate about the fact that Vulcans and Klingons were not yet warp-capable. The only suggestion in canon that Quark is wrong lies in [[Soval]]'s statement in "[[The Forge (episode)|The Forge]]" that "it took my people nearly 1,500 years to rebuild our world and travel to the stars. You Humans did the same in less than a century"; since humans didn't "travel to the stars" until they invented warp drive, if Vulcans "did the same" in 1500 years from the time of [[Surak]], that would mean they developed warp drive in the mid-19th century.
* Based on [[Quark]]'s line ''"Once we get things in order here, we'll contact the Ferengi homeworld and sell them our ship. The Ferengi will have warp drive technology centuries before humans or Klingons or even the Vulcans."'', it could be conjectured that [[Qo'noS]] and [[Vulcan]] became warp capable between [[1947]] and their first contacts with [[Earth]] in [[2063]] and [[2151]], respectively. However, by 1947 humans would achieve warp drive "only" [[2063|116 years]], and not "centuries" later. Moreover, several ''[[Star Trek: Enterprise]]'' episodes indicate the Vulcans possessed warp drive long before 1947. Quark's excitement and probable insecurity with respect to historical dates might account for this discrepancy, thus rendering the time-frames of warp drive acquisition for Qo'noS and Vulcan highly unlikely.
 
  +
* The pajamas purchased by [[Rom]] at the start of the episode seem to be the same shirt worn by [[Sovak]] (also played by [[Max Grodénchik]]) in [[TNG]]'s [[TNG Season 3|3rd season]] episode {{e|Captain's Holiday}}.
  +
* [[Avery Brooks]] ([[Benjamin Sisko]]) has only two lines in this episode.
   
 
=== Video and DVD releases ===
 
=== Video and DVD releases ===
*UK VHS release (two-episode tapes, [[CIC Video]]): Volume 4.4, <!-- catalogue number x, -->{{d|22|April|1996}}.
+
*UK VHS release (two-episode tapes, [[CIC Video]]): Volume 4.4, <!-- catalog number x, -->{{d|22|April|1996}}
 
:''This volume reverses the order for this and {{e|Starship Down}}''
 
:''This volume reverses the order for this and {{e|Starship Down}}''
*As part of the [[DS9 Season 4 DVD]] collection.
+
*As part of the [[DS9 Season 4 DVD]] collection
*As part of the ''[[Star Trek: Fan Collective - Time Travel]]'' collection.
+
*As part of the ''[[Star Trek: Fan Collective - Time Travel]]'' collection
   
 
== Links and references ==
 
== Links and references ==
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=== References ===
 
=== References ===
[[Alpha Quadrant]]; [[Arbiter]]; [[atmosphere]]; [[atomic bomb]]; [[attack cruiser]]; [[Australian]]; [[automobile]]; [[Bajoran transport]]; [[baseball]]; [[Gabriel Bell|Bell,Gabriel]]; [[Bell Riots]]; [[beta radiation]]; [[biochemistry]]; [[Blessed Exchequer]]; [[BOQ]]; [[cadet]]; [[captain]]; [[Celestial Auctioneers]]; [[chewstick]]; [[Chief Financial Officer]]; [[Cleveland]]; [[cloaking device]]; [[command sequencer]]; [[credit]]; [[dabo girl]]; [[darts]]; [[death ray]]; [[Democrat]]; [[Divine Treasury]]; [[dilithium]]; [[disruptor]]; [[United States dollar|dollar]]; [[dom-jot]]; [[Earth]]; [[Earth Cold War]]; [[Earth Orbital Control]]; [[Federation]]; [[Ferengi]]; [[Ferengi Alliance]]; [[Ferengi history]]; [[Ferengi language]]; [[Rules of Acquisition]]; [[Ferengi shuttle]]; [[Ferenginar]]; [[flying saucer]]; [[Gaila (Ferengi)|Gaila]]; [[general]]; [[German Shepherd]]; [[gold]]; [[Grand Nagus]]; [[hairpin]]; [[Hangar 18]]; [[Rita Hayworth|Hayworth, Rita]]; [[holding cell]]; [[holosuite]]; [[Human]]s; [[Human history]]; [[impulse engine]]s; [[ionic interference]]; [[Ishka]]; [[isolinear rod]]; [[Jeep]]; [[kemacite]]; [[Klingon]]s; [[Klingon shock troops]]; [[latinum]]; [[lawyer]]; [[linguist]]; [[M1 Garand]]; {{ShipClass|Marauder}}; [[Mars]]; [[Martian]]s; [[Milky Way Galaxy]]; [[money]]; [[Moogie]]; [[Nevada]]; [[New Mexico]]; [[Niagara Falls]]; [[nuclear fission]]; [[nuclear reactor]]; [[oo-mox]]; [[Orion (planet)|Orion]]; [[PADD]]; [[photon torpedo]]; [[phaser]]; [[piano]]; [[poison]]; [[President of the United States]]; [[Promenade]]; [[Post-Modern Reformism]]; [[proving ground]]; [[quantum torpedo]]; [[Quark's]]; ''[[Quark's Treasure]]''; [[racket]]; [[razor-toothed gree-worm]]; [[replicator]]; [[reporter]]; [[rocket ship]]; [[Romulan interceptor]]; [[root beer]]; [[Roswell]]; [[Roswell Incident]]; [[Russia]]ns; [[smoking]]; [[Sodium Pentathol]]; [[Sol system]]; [[solar flare]]; [[springball]]; [[Starfleet Academy]]; [[subspace continuum]]; [[Supreme Commander]]; [[technology]]; [[telepathy]]; [[telephone]]; [[temporal surge]]; [[time warp]]; [[tobacco]]; [[tooth sharpener]]; [[transporter]]; [[Harry S. Truman|Truman, Harry S.]]; [[United States of America]]; [[universal translator]]; [[US Army Air Corps]]; [[Vault of Eternal Destitution]]; ''[[A Visit with the Pleasure Goddess of Rixx|Visit with the Pleasure Goddess of Rixx, A]]''; [[Vulcan]]s; [[warp drive]]; [[warp core]]; [[waste extraction]]; [[weather balloon]]; [[Zek]]
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[[Alpha Quadrant]]; [[Arbiter]]; [[atmosphere]]; [[atomic bomb]]; [[attack cruiser]]; [[Australian]]; [[automobile]]; [[Bajoran transport]]; [[baseball]]; [[Gabriel Bell|Bell,Gabriel]]; [[Bell Riots]]; [[beta radiation]]; [[biochemistry]]; [[Blessed Exchequer]]; [[BOQ]]; [[cadet]]; [[captain]]; [[Celestial Auctioneers]]; [[chewstick]]; [[chief financial officer]]; [[Cleveland]]; [[cloaking device]]; [[command sequencer]]; [[credit]]; [[dabo girl]]; [[darts]]; [[death ray]]; [[Democrat]]; [[Divine Treasury]]; [[dilithium]]; [[disruptor]]; [[United States dollar|dollar]]; [[dom-jot]]; [[Earth]]; [[Earth Cold War]]; [[Earth Orbital Control]]; [[Federation]]; [[Ferengi]]; [[Ferengi Alliance]]; [[Ferengi history]]; [[Ferengi language]]; [[Rules of Acquisition]]; [[Ferengi shuttle]]; [[Ferenginar]]; [[flying saucer]]; [[Gaila (Ferengi)|Gaila]]; [[general]]; [[German Shepherd]]; [[gold]]; [[Grand Nagus]]; [[hairpin]]; [[Hangar 18]]; [[Rita Hayworth|Hayworth, Rita]]; [[holding cell]]; [[holosuite]]; [[Human]]s; [[Human history]]; [[impulse engine]]s; [[ionic interference]]; [[Ishka]]; [[isolinear rod]]; [[Jeep]]; [[kemacite]]; [[Klingon]]s; [[Klingon shock troops]]; [[latinum]]; [[lawyer]]; [[linguist]]; [[M1 Garand]]; {{class|Marauder}}; [[Mars]]; [[Martian]]s; [[Milky Way Galaxy]]; [[money]]; [[Moogie]]; [[Nevada]]; [[New Mexico]]; [[Niagara Falls]]; [[nuclear fission]]; [[nuclear reactor]]; [[oo-mox]]; [[Orion (planet)|Orion]]; [[PADD]]; [[photon torpedo]]; [[phaser]]; [[piano]]; [[poison]]; [[President of the United States]]; [[Promenade]]; [[Post-Modern Reformism]]; [[proving ground]]; [[quantum torpedo]]; [[Quark's]]; ''[[Quark's Treasure]]''; [[racket]]; [[razor-toothed gree-worm]]; [[replicator]]; [[reporter]]; [[rocket ship]]; [[Romulan interceptor]]; [[root beer]]; [[Roswell]]; [[Roswell Incident]]; [[Russia]]ns; [[smoking]]; [[Sodium Pentathol]]; [[Sol system]]; [[solar flare]]; [[springball]]; [[Starfleet Academy]]; [[subspace continuum]]; [[Supreme Commander]]; [[technology]]; [[telepathy]]; [[telephone]]; [[temporal surge]]; [[time warp]]; [[tobacco]]; [[tooth sharpener]]; [[transporter]]; [[Harry S. Truman|Truman, Harry S.]]; [[United States of America]]; [[universal translator]]; [[US Army Air Corps]]; [[Vault of Eternal Destitution]]; ''[[A Visit with the Pleasure Goddess of Rixx|Visit with the Pleasure Goddess of Rixx, A]]''; [[Vulcan]]s; [[warp drive]]; [[warp core]]; [[waste extraction]]; [[weather balloon]]; [[Zek]]
   
 
== External links ==
 
== External links ==
* {{Wikipedia|Little Green Men (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)}}
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* {{Wikipedia|Little Green Men (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)|Little Green Men}}
 
* {{NCwiki|Little Green Men}}
 
* {{NCwiki|Little Green Men}}
   
 
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Revision as of 21:40, 17 June 2014

Template:Realworld

A malfunction on Quark's new ship causes Quark, Rom, and Nog to crash in the year 1947 in Roswell, New Mexico.

Summary

Teaser

A crowd has gathered at Quark's. Rom tells the assembled crowd that Nog will soon be heading off to Starfleet Academy, and, as is Ferengi tradition, is selling off his childhood possessions to raise capital. Rom encourages everyone to show their support, and kicks off the auction by volunteering to buy Nog's pajamas - which Nog says will cost him three strips of gold-pressed latinum. Rom, in typical Ferengi fashion, haggles his way down to two. Nog accepts, and encourages the crowd to buy their own keepsakes.

Worf stands off to one side, and is approached by O'Brien, who is surprised to see him there. Worf explains it was a personal request of Sisko's, and says he seems to have taken some interest in the boy. The chief tells him that Sisko sponsored Nog's application to the Academy, and Worf says it just doesn't seem right: a Ferengi at the Academy. The chief comments that not so long ago, someone would have said the same about a Klingon at the Academy. Sisko comes up behind them and tells them to buy something before it is all gone. Despite his annoyance, Worf is quickly impressed with Nog's tooth sharpener after trying it and buys it to Nog's surprise.

Quark walks into the bar and, looking irritated, walks over to Rom. Rom is surprised to see Quark, and tells him that if he hurries, there may still be some choice items left to buy. Quark tells him he's not there for the sale; Nog has no place going off to the Academy, and Quark won't have any part of it. Quark tells Rom to come with him; the sale is over, as far as Rom is concerned. The brothers' cousin Gaila has finally made good on a 10-year old promise and bought Quark a ship. Knowing Gaila, it is probably defective, so he wants Rom to check it out.

Upon inspection, Rom finds the ship is in perfect shape, but Quark feels they need to take it on a shakedown cruise. Rom suggests Earth, and Quark says it is a wonderful idea. Rom runs off to tell Nog, and Quark says to himself that it will be a profitable trip.

Act One

Quark makes arrangements with Morn to watch the bar while he's gone, and tells him to keep a close eye on Odo. Odo tells Quark Morn is a good choice, as long as he doesn't drink up all of the profits. Odo comments that it is nice of Quark to take Nog to Earth; Quark remarks that he's a generous person.

Jake and Nog are at their usual spot on the Promenade, when Bashir and the Chief walk up. They present Nog with a PADD on all of Earth's customs, geography, history... everything he'll need to know to get by on Earth. Nog looks at them in surprise, and asks if it will tell him all he needs to know about attracting human females; they chuckle and say, "Well, maybe not EVERYthing." Nog says his goodbyes to Bashir and the Chief, and Jake offers to walk him to the airlock. He turns around one last time to look at the spot where he and Jake used to spend all their time hanging out on the promenade. Jake says, "That was a good spot." Nog replies, "The best." Jake walks his friend to the airlock.

Ops - Dax tells Sisko and Kira that the Ferengi shuttle Quark's Treasure has just departed. Kira says she wouldn't want to be stuck on that shuttle with the three of them all the way to Earth; Sisko says he's just worried that no one warned Earth they were coming.

On the shuttle - Quark complains that the trip is taking too long, and Rom says not to worry; he knows that kemocite is unstable, but another day or two won't make any difference. Quark tells Rom he doesn't know what he's talking about; Rom tells him he knows about the shipment of kemocite Quark is smuggling; and how dangerous and profitable it is, especially if they make a side trip to Orion on the way back from Earth. Quark asks when he got so smart; Rom tells him he's always been smart, he just lacked self-confidence. Rom tells Quark he could be convinced to forget what he knows... for 20% of the profits. Quark rolls his eyes, and asks Nog if he wants a cut, too. Nog says that as a Starfleet cadet, he's sworn to report any violation of Federation law to his superiors; but he hasn't been sworn in yet. For 10%, he'll keep quiet. Quark agrees, and tells Rom to push the shuttle faster. As they approach Earth, Nog comes in from the crew quarters, and asks if the picture of Gabriel Bell looks a lot like Sisko. Quark tells Rom to take the ship out of warp, and Rom says it is not responding; the command sequencer has been disabled. It turns out Gaila sabotaged the ship, and Rom can't shut it down. Rom says that if he can flood the cargo hold with plasma, its reaction with the kemocite should allow him to shut down the warp core. Quark says he's a genius. Rom asks if he really thinks so, and Quark replies he has no idea... he didn't understand a word he just said, but to do it anyway. Rom says he thinks he can get close enough to Earth to make an emergency landing. The ship streaks through space at high warp... and disappears.

Quark wakes up and sits bolt upright, covered by a white sheet. He looks around, and sees Rom and Nog lying next to him in what appears to be a dark laboratory. They both appear to be dead. Outside the lab, a human male dressed in a 1940's US Army officer uniform picks up an old-fashioned phone and tells the party on the other end to contact General Denning... one of the "Martians" is awake. The camera pans over to a calendar hanging on the wall... it is an old Betty Page style pin-up calendar, set on July, 1947.

Act Two

A military base, 1947 – one man in a suit, a doctor, and several men and women in US military uniforms stand on the other side of a two-way mirror, watching Quark, Rom, and Nog interact with each other. They have the farmer who found the ship, and they've convinced the "idiot in Roswell" who told the local paper they captured a flying saucer to issue a retraction... turns out, it was just a weather balloon. They're afraid that if word gets out that beings from another planet have landed on Earth, they'll create a nationwide panic. They're not telling anyone about the "Martians" until they know what they're up against. They turn on a speaker and hear the Ferengi speaking in their native language. Quark walks over to the door and tries to get it to open, but can't figure out how to use the door knob. The Humans watch this all with great interest.

Inside the room, the Ferengi try to figure out where they are. They figure they must be on Earth, but they don't know where, except that it is not Starfleet Academy. Quark starts beating on the door, yelling at them to give him his ship back. The soldiers on the other side of the door pull their guns, thinking he's trying to escape. A female officer grabs the doctor's arm and tells him not to let the soldiers hurt Quark; he's just scared. He tells the general they need to try and communicate with them; the General tells him the President agrees... that's why he's here. Back inside the room, Quark is complaining that Earth was a bad idea, and that it is all Nog's fault because he insisted on joining Starfleet. Rom defends Nog, Quark yells at Rom, Nog yells at Quark, and Rom says maybe they're all dead, and this is the Divine Treasury, the Ferengi version of Heaven. Quark says that's not possible; the Treasury is made of solid gold-pressed latinum, the Blessed Exchequer and the Celestial Auctioneers are missing, and they should be bidding for new lives right now. Rom says maybe they're in the other place... Nog suggests the Vault of Eternal Destitution? Quark scoffs and says that's impossible; the bar was turning a profit.

Hyumans mimicking ferengi

Humans mimic the three Ferengi, believing that what they do is a form of greeting

The door opens, and two armed men enter the room, followed by the female nurse, one of the officers, and the doctor. He tries to communicate with the Ferengi; they don't understand a word he says. Rom figures their universal translators must not be working, and they all three start hitting their heads, trying to reset the translators. The Humans think they must be some sort of greeting, and start hitting their heads in return. Quark looks at them in amazement; Rom says maybe their universal translators are broken, too. Nog says they don't have universal translators; he recognizes the uniforms from the PADD Bashir gave him back on DS9 about Earth. The uniforms are from the 20th century, one of Earth's old nation-states, Australia, or something. They figure out they've travelled back in time almost 400 years. Rom asks if they don't have universal translators, then why are they banging their heads. Quark hits his head, and the Humans do it too. Quark repeats the action, and so do they. Quark figures out they are just mimicking the Ferengi. He says he never realized primitive Humans were so stupid. Nog says they were also violent, petty, bigoted, and selfish. Quark says, "The three of us, and millions of primitive hew-mans... I like those odds."

Act Three

File:Faith garland.jpg

Faith Garland, 20th century Human

The nurse takes Quark's blood pressure, and Quark asks for oomox in his native language. She has no idea what he says, of course. She smiles, and walks over to the doctor. She tells him she has run every test she can think of, and all she can tell him is, they're not Human. They watch Rom try to repair Nog's universal translator, and think they're involved in some kind of grooming ritual, like gorillas. She correctly assumes they are father and son, and the doctor wonders if Quark is related somehow. She says for all they know, he could be the mother. The doctor says if that's true, Quark is quite a shrew.

Rom figures out that the interference disrupting their translators is coming from theta radiation from nuclear fission. Quark tells him not to be an idiot; fission doesn't happen within planetary atmospheres. Nog explains that here, it does. In the 20th century, Humans used to use crude fission reactors as weapons, calling them "Atom bombs." Quark can't believe how stupid the Humans are for polluting their own planet. Quark tells Rom to hurry up and fix the translators; the sooner they start communicating with these "savages," the better.

Rom sees the female playing with a hair pin, and points at it. The man figures out that Rom wants it, and she gives it to him. Rom takes the hairpin and jabs it in Nog's ear, looking for the reset button on his translator. The Humans recoil, thinking it must hurt. The doctor lights up two cigarettes, one for him and one for her, and expresses dismay at not having enough help to try and communicate with the Ferengi, and the woman says she's sure he'll find a way. She can't wait to find out how much they can learn from the Ferengi; how maybe, in a few years, Humans will have rocket ships of their own and travel the galaxy, "exploring new worlds and new civilizations." He chuckles, and says that she's a dreamer; she replies, that's why you love me. He smiles, and says that here they are, in the middle of one of the biggest discoveries in Human history, and all he can think about is how she'll look in her wedding dress. She smiles bashfully and says her mother keeps asking where they're going on their honeymoon; she thinks they should go to Niagara Falls. He says who knows... maybe we'll go to Mars. Quark notices the smell from the cigarettes burning, and Nog tells him about tobacco, how poisonous and addictive it is. Rom asks where they get it; Nog tells them it is readily available in stores. Quark is amazed; he says if they'll buy poison, they'll buy anything. Nog says he hopes he wouldn't do anything to disrupt the timeline; they could all cease to exist.

In the hangar, the soldiers are examining the ship, but they can't make heads or tails to how it runs. The doctor is out for a stroll, and he kneels down to pet a German Shepherd. The general asks him if they've made any progress. The doctor says he would think that creatures as technologically advanced as they seem to be would communicate telepathically, but they seem to have a developed language. He says, in time, a team of linguists should be able to figure it out. The captain says no one else is getting called in on the project there is already too many people who know about the Ferengi. The general says that president Truman is an impatient man and wants answers, and he wants them now. The nurse comes outside, and tells them they need to get in there, now. They come inside, and the dog follows them in. Quark announces, so that they understand, that he is Quark, the chief financial officer of the Ferengi Alliance, and he has a business proposition for them.

Act Four

The general looks in Quark's ear with a flashlight and says he sees no universal translator; Quark says trust me, it is in there. The general asks how it works, and Quark says it is simple, if you know how. Anything is possible with advanced technology. In typical Ferengi fashion he then goes into his sales pitch: he is there to open up a market for advanced Ferengi technology with the people of 20th century Earth. Ships, transporters, medicine, replicators, weapons, are all available in exchange for gold. The general says Quark reminds him of his brother-in-law... a used car salesman, and not a very good one. Bottom line: he doesn't trust him. Quark threatens to take his "business" to the Russians, and the general doesn't like that. He says he'll have to get clearance from the president. Quark agrees, and offers some free advice: stop poisoning themselves with tobacco and atom bombs... they'll kill you. The general asks what he knows about atom bombs, and Quark says Ferengi have been watching Earth for years, and know all about Humans: baseball, root beer, darts, and atom bombs... quite a fascinating culture. He tells the general to go talk to the president.

Rom and Nog are talking to the doctor and his fiancée, telling them all about Ferenginar. The German Shepherd is sitting on the counter. Rom has just told the doctor that women on Ferenginar go around naked, and it is the law; Nurse Garland tells them she's never visiting there, and neither is he. Nog manipulates Garland into innocently giving him oo-mox. Quark comes back to the room, and Rom asks how his meeting with the general went. He gets Nurse Garland and the doctor to leave the room, and tells them everything is fine. The German Shepherd barks at Quark, and he complains that the Humans forgot to take it with them. It runs over to him and puts its front paws on his shoulders. The German Shepherd morphs into Odo, who tells him he is placing Quark under arrest for attempting to smuggle kemocite. He tells them he hid on board the ship, which is in a hangar on the other side of the base. It is damaged, but the engines are functional. They can use it to get away from the base. Nog says that they'll be stuck 400 years in the past. Rom tells them all that if there is enough kemocite left, and if he can find a powerful enough energy source, he might be able to get them home, to their time. Odo asks what kind of energy source, but Quark interrupts, and tells them all they're not going anywhere, that inside a year, they'll be running the whole place. The Humans here are cruel, gullible, and greedy... and he can manipulate them. Once they run the whole planet, they'll contact the Ferengi of this time and sell them their ship. Ferengi will have warp drive before any other power in the quadrant, and set up a financial empire the likes of which even Grand Nagus Zek couldn't dream of... and Quark can run it all. Odo says he has a very vivid imagination, but the only place they're going is back to their own time. He'll have the ship ready in six hours... and they're all going to be on it. Quark says he's not going back, and neither is his ship. Odo says we'll see about that. He morphs back into a dog and waits by the door.

Outside, the captain is pacing by the door when the general pulls up. He tells the captain the president said no deal, not until they know more about the aliens. The captain says he'll find out, and the general gives his okay. The captain goes inside the building. Inside, Quark is trying to convince Rom and Nog to stay, but they want to go. Six MPs enter the room, three with pistols drawn. The other three put bags over the Ferengi's heads, and escort them none too gently from the room. They are tied to chairs, and the captain begins to interrogate Quark. He tells them if they don't let him go, he'll take his business to the Russians. The captain says that's a good place to start... tell us what you know about the Russians. Nurse Garland walks up to Quark with a syringe full of liquid, and Quark realizes he's in a lot more trouble than he thought.

Act Five

Nurse Garland sticks the needle in Quark's arm and he starts to scream. After five injections of Sodium Pentathol, she tells the captain it is not working. She tells the captain it is wrong; "these people are our guests". The captain says they're not people, they're things, invaders from another world, and it is up to them to put an end to whatever the Ferengi might be planning. He grabs a scalpel and threatens to cut Quark open if he doesn't tell him what he wants to hear. Nog asks if there are laws against this kind of thing; the captain tells him not when it comes to national security. He threatens each of them in turn, until Rom breaks, and tells them it was an accident, that they never meant to come to Earth in the 1940s, and they're from the future, all the while, crying for his moogie. Nog tells the captain's what he wants to hear saying that they're the advance scouts for the Ferengi invasion fleet, confirming the captain's fears. He tells the "puny Earthlings" that they have been studying them for centuries, and they are ripe for conquest. He calls Quark the "Supreme Commander" and tells the Humans that 300 Marauder-class attack cruisers are orbiting the planet, preparing to attack. Quark tries to convince them they just want to sell them things, and the doctor says he doesn't believe the invasion story, all while Rom is crying for his moogie. Nog keeps up the invasion story, telling them that when the appointed hour arrives, the ships will decloak and begin transporting Klingon shock troops directly to the landing zone... killing all the males, and taking all the females to mate with. The captain asks where the landing zone is; Nog will show him on the map if he unties him. One of the M.P.s unties Nog, and the other goes to get the General. Nog points to the Great Lakes area, saying the first landing parties will invade here. The captain leans over to get a closer look at the map, and Nog hits him in the stomach and over the head, causing him to drop his M1911. The MP pulls his M1911, and Nurse Garland tells him not to hurt Nog. Nog says it was an accident, he didn't mean to hit the captain, he tripped. The captain tells the MP to shoot Nog, but the doctor takes out the MP before he can fire. Nurse Garland hits the captain over the head with a tray and unties Quark. They tell the Ferengi they are helping them escape, and Rom asks if they'll get in trouble. Quark says of course not, since they forced the Humans to help them using... Nurse Garland fills in the blank, ... "your insidious mind control powers." Quark compliments her on her quick thinking, and they make their way to the ship.

The general and two MPs stop them. Quark grabs Nurse Garland and points his finger at her, telling them he'll disintegrate the hostage with his "death ray." The general says it looks a lot like a finger to him. With the distraction, Odo shape-shifts out of a nearby truck and takes out the two MPs and the general. They commandeer a Jeep and get to the hangar. The doctor tells them an atomic blast will occur in seven minutes. Quark thanks the two "hew-mans," and Nurse Garland says that she only hopes one day man can travel the stars and take its place among a vast alliance of planets. Rom corrects her: "Federation." Nog stops him from explaining further saying that he is an idiot The Ferengi get in their ship and take off. The captain gets to the general and asks "What do we do now?" The general says "About what, Captain? All we ever found was a crashed weather balloon."

Rom tells them all they have to do is fly directly into the atomic blast and expose the kemocite to the beta radiation, and it will cause a reverse time warp that they can just ride home. Odo tells Quark if it doesn't work, he'll hold him personally responsible. At the target site, the bomb goes off, and the ship gets buffeted by the explosion. The ship materializes in Earth orbit back in their own time.

Back on DS9, Quark tells Rom he could have ruled the galaxy, and now he has nothing, not even a shuttle. Rom reminds him he still has the bar, and at least he got enough from selling the shuttle for salvage to book them passage home. Odo grabs Quark and tells him he's under arrest for kemocite smuggling; Quark tells him he has no evidence, since they used up all the kemocite getting back to the 24th century. Odo tells him to tell it to the arbiter. Quark tells Rom to get him out of this; Rom says he'll contact cousin Gaila; he's sure to know a good lawyer.

Memorable Quotes

"Ferengi at the Academy...I am not sure that is wise."
"Oh, I don't know about that...not so long ago, someone might've said the same thing about you."

- Worf and O'Brien


"Quark, Rom and Nog, together on that ship, all the way to Earth... glad I'm not going with them..."
"Only thing that worries me... no one warned Earth that they're coming!"

- Kira and Sisko, after the Ferengi leave the station


"Rom, you're a genius!"
"Think so?"
"How should I know?! I have no idea what you're talking about! Just do it!"

- Quark and Rom, after Rom has just explained his idea to force the ship out of Warp.


"I'd always heard primitive hew-mons lacked intelligence, but I had no idea they were this stupid!"

- Quark, after "communicating" with the Human onlookers


"They weren't just stupid. They were violent, petty, bigoted, and selfish."

- Nog about Humans


"If they'll buy poison, they'll buy anything!"

- Quark on tobacco


"Imagine the possibilities. Who knows what they could teach us? A few years from now, mankind could have rocket ships of our own. We could travel the galaxy, exploring new worlds and new civilizations."

- Faith Garland


"We're helpless! We're harmless! We just want to sell you things!"

- Quark


"I only hope that one day mankind will travel to the stars and take its place in a vast alliance of planets."
"Fe-e-ederation, of planets."
"Excuse me?"

- Faith Garland and Rom


"The first landing parties will arrive here."
"Where?"
"Here, right by this blue blob."
"You mean your people are going to invade... Cleveland?"

- Nog and Wainwright


"I know everything about you people... baseball, root beer, darts... atom bombs."

- Quark


"For a primitive female, she's pretty smart!"

- Nog

Background information

Story and script

  • This episode was written and designed to be an homage to '50s B-movies. (Deep Space Nine Chronicles)
  • Indeed, as Robert Hewitt Wolfe explains, "All the characters are archetypes from those movies; the sort of Human nurse who sees beyond appearance, and the tough, cigar chomping general, and the sort of traitorous mid-level military officer, and the noble scientist, and it was just like so much fun just to play with all those archetypal science fiction characters, sort of give a nod even beyond The Original Series, but a nod to all these great movies from the fifties which made Star Trek possible in the first place." (Charting New Territory: Deep Space Nine Season 4, DS9 Season 4 DVD special features)
  • The title of this episode is a nod to a line spoken in TOS: "Tomorrow is Yesterday". John Christopher states "...and I never have believed in little green men." In that episode, the USS Enterprise and her crew are transported to the late 1960s and much of the action takes place inside a US Air Force base.
  • Toni Marberry and Jack Treviño pitched the story during the first season of Deep Space Nine, but Michael Piller wasn't keen on the concept. Early in the fourth season, with the 50th anniversary of the Roswell incident approaching, René Echevarria proposed that they do the 'Roswell show', and everyone agreed. (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)
  • The scene where all of the Humans observing the "Martians" behind the one-way mirror were smoking was a deliberate commentary on the use of tobacco in the 1940s. Indeed, the studio was originally against having anybody at all smoking in the episode, but Ira Steven Behr pointed out that they couldn't do an homage to '50s B-movies without seeing the characters smoke. A lot. In particular, he cites the 1951 Sam Newfield movie Lost Continent as taking cigarette smoking to an unprecedented extreme. According to Behr, "You see smoking in fifties movies all the time, from war movies to bug-eyed monster films, but Continent took it to an art form that is just jaw-dropping to watch. Every time there is a problem, everyone just starts handing out cigarettes." (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)
  • However, Behr was not entirely happy with how the commentary on nicotine came across in the finished episode. He feels that because nicotine is such an easy target for criticism, he and Robert Hewitt Wolfe should have been more subtle; "Knocking cigarettes is such an easy target. We thought it would speak for itself, but we actually verbalized it and I wish we hadn't. We got a little self-righteous, and it was like shooting ducks in a barrel." (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)
  • If Behr was unhappy with how the criticisms of nicotine turned out, he has no such reservations about the criticisms of the A-bomb. Behr says that while writing the teleplay for this episode he saw the 1994 James Cameron movie True Lies, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. According to Behr, the movie incensed him because an A-bomb is used as the backdrop for a kiss between the lead character and his wife. This led him to deduce that "the difference in movie-making between Dr. Strangelove and True Lies exemplifies a culture that has lost its way, where the blast of an atomic bomb literally seems to have lost its meaning. I thought that if the everyday coded messages of 'what things mean' has become so tainted, and so lost that we are no longer able to identify the world clearly and understandably because of our inability to use the language and the visualization of things, then let's just take it and make it even stupider." This is why, at the end of the episode, Behr had an atomic bomb save Quark, as a commentary on the absurdity of the scene in True Lies and on a society that accepts such a scene as perfectly okay; the greatest weapon known to man is employed in a deus ex machina style ending to save the hero. (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)
  • General Rex Denning was named after actor Richard Denning (The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Day the World Ended); Nurse Faith Garland was named after actress Beverly Garland (Swamp Women, It Conquered the World); Professor Jeff Carlson was named after actor Richard Carlson (The Magnetic Monster, It Came from Outer Space). (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion, p. 287)

Production

Reception

  • This episode is a favorite of Armin Shimerman, who comments, "It's a favorite of the fans, it's a favorite of mine. It was a major catalyst in the investigation of the family relationship. It's one of the first episode where we see the Ferengi working together as a family, and that was the beginning of an avalanche of stories about that. It was a delight to work because the writers gave me wonderful, I can't put this any other way, Spock-like comments, where I'm outside of Humanity, as a Ferengi, and talking about how they act, having some point of view about what they do right, what they do wrong, and letting them know about it. There were more episodes where that happened, but "Little Green Men" was perhaps the most delightful. It also gave Quark a ship. It was the only time I got to captain a ship, even for a brief moment in time, but for a Star Trek actor, those little things can be very important." (Hidden File 02, DS9 Season 4 DVD special features)
  • Ira Steven Behr commented "I would think - though I could be wrong - that even the fans who despise the Ferengi might be won over by "Little Green Men". I thought it was a wonderful show, it worked on cylinders, and it's gotten a great response". ("The Behr Necessities, Star Trek Monthly, issue 12)
  • René Echevarria commented ""Little Green Men" and "The Trouble with Tribbles" are probably the two best Star Trek comedic episodes ever filmed. It was just a delight". (Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages, p 109)
  • In Star Trek 101, Terry J. Erdmann and Paula M. Block list "Little Green Men" as being one of the "Ten Essential Episodes" from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
  • Cinefantastique ranked "Little Green Men" as the fifth best episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. (Cinefantastique, Vol. 32, No. 4/5, p. 98)
  • On the popularity of "Little Green Men", Megan Gallagher commented "Not to brag, but I've got a long resume. I've done six television series as a regular and recurred on a lot of other shows, and I have gotten more fan mail about that individual episode than anything else I've ever done, including the entire run of Millennium. Actually, I'd say "Little Green Men" and Larry Sanders are on a par with each other. But I think people loved "Little Green Men" because it was funny and different, and because of the whole mythology and mystery surrounding Roswell. When you mix Star Trek and Roswell, I think it just triggers various parts of the sci-fi brain simultaneously. And the episode was just really beautifully done, the way they shot it, the Dutch angles, all of the period stuff, the sort of It Came from Outer Space way it looked. It had all these great inside jokes. It just combined so many different and fun things about being a sci-fi fan". [1]

Trivia

  • "All I ask is a tall ship... and a load of contraband to fill it with" is a paraphrase of John Masefield's famous poem, Sea-Fever, which includes the line, "All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by", which is also the quote on the USS Defiant's dedication plaque. It was also quoted twice before, by James T. Kirk in TOS: "The Ultimate Computer" and Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.
  • This is the first episode where entire sentences of Ferengi language are heard.
  • Referenced Rules of Acquisition: #203 ("New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back") and #62 ("The riskier the road, the greater the profit"). Note: only #203 is mentioned by number.
  • Charles Napier played the musical and free-spirited Adam, in TOS's 3rd season episode "The Way to Eden"; a major contrast from the hard-nosed General he plays here.
  • Five years after this episode, Charles Napier appeared in the Roswell episode Summer of 47, in which his character, as a young man (portrayed in flashbacks by Brendan Fehr), was an Army officer who had witnessed the 1947 Roswell incident.
  • A calendar on the wall of one of the base's rooms has a "cheesecake" illustration captioned "My Love Has Wings," a reference to Nightingale Woman, which was recited in TOS: "Where No Man Has Gone Before". The poem was originally written by Gene Roddenberry while working as an airplane pilot.
  • In this episode, Ferengi do not always use their traditional mis-pronunciation of "Human" as "hew-mon."
  • Nog notes that Gabriel Bell from the Bell Riots looked a lot like Captain Sisko, referencing the events of DS9: "Past Tense, Part I" and "Past Tense, Part II".
  • This episode first aired more than a year before the premiere of Star Trek: First Contact, and hints that Vulcans were the first alien race to have official contact with Humans.
  • General Denning says, "Did you take care of that idiot in Roswell, who told the press we captured a flying saucer?" He is referring to Colonel William H. Blanchard's press release of July 8th, 1947, in which he stated that the Air Force "had in [their] possession a flying saucer." Blanchard was the commander of the 509th Bomb Group at Roswell Army Air Field. A second statement was released shortly thereafter which denied Blanchard's claim, saying that the debris was simply from a crashed weather balloon.
  • Denning's description of President Truman as a "piano-playing Democrat" is the only time in all of Star Trek in which a democratically elected figure is identified by the political party he or she is affiliated with.
  • This episode firmly establishes, via the universal translator, that Quark, Rom, and Nog are never actually speaking English in the series.
  • Based on Quark's line "Once we get things in order here, we'll contact the Ferengi homeworld and sell them our ship. The Ferengi will have warp drive technology centuries before Humans or Klingons or even the Vulcans.", it is established that Qo'noS and Vulcan had not yet become warp-capable by 1947. However, in Star Trek: First Contact it was established that Humans would achieve warp drive in only another 116 years from 1947, so not exactly "centuries" later. It was also established in ENT: "Carbon Creek" that Vulcans had warp-capable ships only ten years later. Moreover, it has been established in several episodes that Vulcans and Klingons possessed interstellar travel capability long before 1947. Based on ENT: "The Andorian Incident", the first known instance of Vulcan interstellar travel was around 850 BC, when the Vulcan P'Jem monastery was built outside the Vulcan system. According to TNG: "Rightful Heir", the Klingon monastery in the star system with the planet Boreth was built shortly after the death of Kahless. According to the episode VOY: "Day of Honor", Kahless lived in the 9th century. It has however not been established what propulsion technology was used for interstellar travel on these early voyages. The fact that Quark was inaccurate with his "centuries" statement might however indicate he was also inaccurate about the fact that Vulcans and Klingons were not yet warp-capable. The only suggestion in canon that Quark is wrong lies in Soval's statement in "The Forge" that "it took my people nearly 1,500 years to rebuild our world and travel to the stars. You Humans did the same in less than a century"; since humans didn't "travel to the stars" until they invented warp drive, if Vulcans "did the same" in 1500 years from the time of Surak, that would mean they developed warp drive in the mid-19th century.
  • The pajamas purchased by Rom at the start of the episode seem to be the same shirt worn by Sovak (also played by Max Grodénchik) in TNG's 3rd season episode "Captain's Holiday".
  • Avery Brooks (Benjamin Sisko) has only two lines in this episode.

Video and DVD releases

This volume reverses the order for this and "Starship Down"

Links and references

Starring

Also starring

Guest stars

Uncredited co-stars

References

Alpha Quadrant; Arbiter; atmosphere; atomic bomb; attack cruiser; Australian; automobile; Bajoran transport; baseball; Bell,Gabriel; Bell Riots; beta radiation; biochemistry; Blessed Exchequer; BOQ; cadet; captain; Celestial Auctioneers; chewstick; chief financial officer; Cleveland; cloaking device; command sequencer; credit; dabo girl; darts; death ray; Democrat; Divine Treasury; dilithium; disruptor; dollar; dom-jot; Earth; Earth Cold War; Earth Orbital Control; Federation; Ferengi; Ferengi Alliance; Ferengi history; Ferengi language; Rules of Acquisition; Ferengi shuttle; Ferenginar; flying saucer; Gaila; general; German Shepherd; gold; Grand Nagus; hairpin; Hangar 18; Hayworth, Rita; holding cell; holosuite; Humans; Human history; impulse engines; ionic interference; Ishka; isolinear rod; Jeep; kemacite; Klingons; Klingon shock troops; latinum; lawyer; linguist; M1 Garand; Marauder-class; Mars; Martians; Milky Way Galaxy; money; Moogie; Nevada; New Mexico; Niagara Falls; nuclear fission; nuclear reactor; oo-mox; Orion; PADD; photon torpedo; phaser; piano; poison; President of the United States; Promenade; Post-Modern Reformism; proving ground; quantum torpedo; Quark's; Quark's Treasure; racket; razor-toothed gree-worm; replicator; reporter; rocket ship; Romulan interceptor; root beer; Roswell; Roswell Incident; Russians; smoking; Sodium Pentathol; Sol system; solar flare; springball; Starfleet Academy; subspace continuum; Supreme Commander; technology; telepathy; telephone; temporal surge; time warp; tobacco; tooth sharpener; transporter; Truman, Harry S.; United States of America; universal translator; US Army Air Corps; Vault of Eternal Destitution; Visit with the Pleasure Goddess of Rixx, A; Vulcans; warp drive; warp core; waste extraction; weather balloon; Zek

External links

Previous episode:
"Starship Down"
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Season 4
Next episode:
"The Sword of Kahless"